I smoke “weed”, watch haraam on my phone and I am involved in unnatural behaviour. I cannot do without these things though I know it is wrong and sinful. Please advise how I can overcome this condition.
The answer to this important question requires much detail which is beyond the scope of this concise answer. Some points are nevertheless mentioned hereunder. For further guidance you should contact a senior experienced ‘Aalim in your community.
- Overcoming an addiction requires several aspects: patience, courage, commitment, lifestyle adjustments, sacrifice, and most of all, the strengthening of one’s imaan and consciousness of the Aakhirah (Hereafter). Considering that an addiction has led numerous people to the destruction of their deen and dunya, all the effort and sacrifice that is made is worth it.
- To strengthen your imaan, adopt pious company at all times. Keep yourself as much as possible in the environment of deen. Join the daily ta’leem in the Musjid and go out with the jamaats in the path of Allah Ta‘ala as often as you can. You should also seriously consider linking up with a shaikh who you are compatible with, whom you can confide in and take guidance from.
- You must pluck up the courage to give up sin, beg Allah Ta‘ala for courage and request the pious to make du‘aa for you to be granted courage.
- Daily make istighfaar 100 times very consciously. Likewise recite durood shareef 100 times daily. Then recite “Laa hawla walaa quwwata illa billaahil ‘aliyyil ‘azeem” as often as possible. Dedicate some time for the recitation of the Quraan Majeed.
- Undertake the following meditations daily without fail:
– Imagine that you are engrossed in your evil habit. Just at that moment you were caught in the act by your entire family. Your sin has been exposed. Someone then broadcasts it on social media. Think of the disgrace and humiliation. Imagine that your wife has packed her bags and left and your parents have thrown you out. Nobody wants to accommodate you … Imagine the worst consequences and let this horrendous picture sink in. Do this without fail morning and evening. Furthermore, whenever you are tempted, immediately replay this in your mind.
– Meditate over your own death. Imagine that your body has gone limp while the drug is wedged between your fingers or the phone is in your hand with the filth playing on. Soon people will walk in and see you dead in this condition. Is this how you wish to die? Then think of yourself being lowered into the ground and buried under tons of sand. Imagine the questioning of the angels in the grave. What answer will you have? Engrave this scene on your heart. Then make taubah and firmly resolve never to commit the evil again. (Bear in mind that these meditations are like anti-biotics. Their benefit will be achieved if done consistently and the full course is taken. In this case the full course is at least 40 days).
In brief, also adhere to the following:
- Never be in denial. Confide in someone you trust and seek help. There are many out there who are ready to help. Do not delay in asking for their help.
- Do not remain idle. Always be occupied constructively. Consult an experienced ‘Aalim and acquire some good deeni literature which you should read daily. In particular, read the biographies of the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) and other pious personalities of the Ummah.
- Remove all the triggers – the company you keep, the smart phone that makes you become a total slave of the worst filth, etc. The company you keep is crucial. It will make or break you. Those who encourage you or lead you towards sin are not your friends. They are Shaitaan’s agents in human form. If you are abusing the phone … BREAK IT, or get rid of it. Do this NOW before it breaks your deen, marriage and life. Keep a very simple basic phone instead, especially one which has no internet access. If you want to stop but do not want to get rid of the smart phone, you are not being smart. You are just fooling yourself.
- Engage in a daily exercise program at home.
Remember well that if a concerted effort is not made and the addiction is not overcome, it could “explode” at any time and ruin one’s deen, respect and family – may Allah Ta‘ala protect us all.